Fiction 101: Writing A Killer Opening Paragraph (An Analysis)

In my previous blog post, Common Newbie Writer Mistakes and How to Avoid Them, I advised new writers to avoid starting a novel with a Wake Up Scene. This is where the protagonist literally wakes up. There’s often a stretch and a groan involved. The main character might go over last night’s events in his or her head, suffer from amnesia, or begin making plans for the new day the with interior dialogue. In an attempt to build character, many of these scenes also include the protagonist throwing the alarm clock. Oftentimes the character proceeds to shuffle bleary-eyed across the room to study his or her image in a mirror so the author can "sneak" in his or her physical description. Does this sound uncomfortably familiar? If the answer is yes, please don't be embarrassed. I consider the Wake Up Scene a right of passage for newbie writers. After all, we all have to start somewhere, but a professional writer would never begin their novels that way. Or, would they? 

Heck, yeah. 

Take The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, for instance. The story begins with the main character, Katniss Everdeen, waking up. The author gets away with it  because, besides being a brilliant a plotter and writer of prose, she knows the five important tasks of a novel's very first paragraph. 

  A Killer Opening Should:

1.   Establish the mood and setting.

2.   Introduce the main character.

3.   Build empathy.

4.   Present the conflict (a problem to overcome).

5.   Show, not tell.

The order of the five essential tasks doesn't matter so much as long as they are all included. When done correctly, readers will want to keep turning the pages until the character's problems are solved. 

Also, I recommend having a likable protagonist because who wants to hang out with a jerk for 250 pages? Of course, some stories don’t lend themselves to likable main characters so the writer will have to make up for it with a super juicy problem. In my opinion, a novel that does everything correctly at the beginning is The Hunger Games. It features a flawed, yet empathetic heroine, and an intriguing problem for her to overcome. Also, it shows her depressed circumstances instead of simply stating them (more on this is a moment). Personally, I was enthralled by this trilogy. I couldn’t stop turning the pages until I knew the final outcome, so I’ve chosen the opening paragraph of book one as my example:

“When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.”

At a glance, this paragraph seems to be one of those cliché Wake Up Scenes I warned you about. The novel ought to be a disaster, but it’s not. Over 27 million copies have sold! Why does a wake up scene work so brilliantly in this novel whereas so many others fail? Because the author followed all of the other rules, of course! 

Let’s take a closer look to see how Collins did it so well. While we’re here, I want you to pay attention to how she Shows rather than Tells, a strategy that separates seasoned writers from the newbies. Notice how Collins never states that the Everdeens are impoverished, oppressed, and afraid. She plants all of the clues and lets the readers figure it out themselves.  

Line 1: When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold.

Not the most memorable line ever, but it has instantly built setting and character. How is that? Because when Katniss notes that the bed is cold, the reader knows someone warm must normally belong there.  

Line 2: My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress.

I’m amazed by how much character and setting-building Collins has accomplished in this one little line. When Katniss reaches out for Prim’s warmth, their love is revealed. Readers are already feeling a connection with the Everdeens, especially Katniss because the story is told from her point of view. Although she never says outright that she loves her little sister, the gesture reveals a lot about their relationship. Speaking for myself, being allowed to make these kind of deductions on my own, without the author shouting the obvious in my face, is what makes reading so enjoyable and satisfying.

Later in the novel, readers will realize that Katniss is physically strong and capable, yet vastly unhappy. The harshness of life has made her hard. She has become emotionally distant from her mother and has a difficult time relating to people. However, little sister Prim is a warm safe place in the cold and dreary world. Although, this doesn’t come out in the first paragraph, the process has started in line two. It's already building empathy, showing the main character's vulnerable side, how she needs her little sister’s warmth. Later, when Katniss sacrifices herself to stand in Prim’s place, we can believe this is exactly what she would do. Nonetheless, we are completely invested in this courageous girl and must know know how it all turns out.

Line two also gives big clues about the setting. It might have been easier for the author to tell you, “The Everdeens are so poor, they can’t afford heat or satin sheets.” But, no. She opted to show us instead, which is so much more fun. From line one we already know that it’s is cold and she shares a bed with her sister, which raises questions in the reader’s mind. Can’t they afford to heat their house? Why don’t they each have their own bed? The cover of the mattress isn’t cotton or linen—but canvas. And, it’s rough. Not exactly a comfortable material for a mattress—did they have no other options? When you add up the clues, the reader instinctively knows that the Everdeens are living in poverty.

Line 3: She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother.

As small as it is, this line introduces the conflict by creating questions in the reader’s mind, while continuing to add to the story’s setting. For example, when Prim climbs into bed with mother, but no father is mentioned, we wonder about his absence. Is he a deadbeat dad? Is he on a trip, imprisoned, or dead? Inquiring minds want to know! On top of those questions, Prim’s bad dreams hint that trouble is afoot. What's on her mind that makes her so afraid?  The reader only has to go to the next line to be drawn deeper into the conflict.

Line 4: Of course, she did.

This short sentences reveals that the bad dreams are warranted, not something to dismiss as the product of a young girl's overactive imagination. Oh my, the reader wonders, what has the entire Everdeen family so on edge?

Line 5: This is the day of the reaping.

Bam. Collins smacks us in the face with the premise of the book. The conflict. It doesn’t matter that the  “the reaping” is still a mystery at this point. It’s enough to know that it is bad and it is happening . . . today. Yikes! If your reaction to the opening paragraph of The Hunger Games was anything like mine, your brain was telling your hands to hurry up and turn the page, we must find out more about this reaping thing and why the Everdeens fear it so much! As a fiction writer, that's the response you hope readers will have to your own novel. Half the battle is to hook them with a likable protagonist and a juicy conflict at the beginning, which is easy to suggest, but much harder to do. 

Collins was able to get away with the verboten Wake Up Scene because she knows the rules before she decides to break them. Once you've learned them too, if you remain convinced that a Wake Up scene is right for your book, by all means, go for it! And, may the words be ever in your favor. Happy writing! 

This is an updated edition of a blog post from 2014.